Welcome to the Romance Toolbox!

Set Him up for Romantic Success

What is the big complaint of most women?  They receive romantic gifts from their husbands that miss the mark totally.  The gifts are either appliances for the house or something that the husband could use more than they can.  What is going on?  Instead of meeting his gaze and gift with a frown and a sigh, give him a helping hand.

Girls, we want him to be a mind reader, but the truth is that he will never be able to read our mind.  No matter how long you are together, guessing what we want is not going to be one of his strong points.  Cut him some slack with a romance list.

This is not just any list though.  Give it real thought. 

Think about the things that you want from him.  These should be special things for occasions like anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas, and getting out of the dog house days.  Another list can be created for things that he can pick up for you to surprise you or make you feel better when you are down.  These lists will give him a great starting point.

Be specific about what you like.  Listing that you like clothes, does not give him an idea of the size, color, brand, style, or particular article of clothing.  The same goes for your husband as it does in other areas of your life - you only get what you want if you ask for it.

Men often get discouraged with unsuccessful gifts.  After a while they will stop trying and go back to the old stand by:  flowers and chocolates.  There is a book on the market called “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman.  The book lists the five different types of love languages and describes their attributes.  Knowing a person’s love language can give insight into what will make them love and show love better.

Along with the list, give him the book.  This is as close to mind reading as he will get.  If you want something deeper than just the right gift for every occasion, use this book to help him to get in touch with you as a woman.  If he uses the book as it was meant, he may not need your romance list to pick out that perfect gift you’ll love.  But, keep your list just in case.

Don’t hang your man out to dry.  Let him know exactly what you want from him and you just may be surprised at what he can deliver. 

Your to-do today: Make your lists today!! 

Romance On a Shoestring
With Cindy Rushton

Romance is vital for a forever marriage. Satan has stolen romance and perverted the beauty in romance. He has made it look wrong, nasty. Even for those who do not buy into that lie, he has made it look out of reach for the Christian home. It is time to take it back!  Begin by dating your mate!

Dates are an important part of any couple’s relationship, but especially married couples. Dates are fun and add a bit of spontaneity to a marriage.  For couples with children, dates can be few and far between for a few reasons.  It’s easy for couples to forget to make time to go out together sans kids.  Then, there’s the money issue.  With kids money can get tight, especially if you have to pay not only for the date but a sitter as well. If you’re having a hard time coming up with wallet friendly date ideas, try these seven. I think you will find them doable…

Seven Shoestring Date Ideas for Couples

1.    See a Matinee
Want to go out and see a movie?  Instead of running with the rest of the crowd to the eight o’clock show, take in a matinee instead.  The theaters are less crowded and you don’t pay near as much for the tickets.  There will even be money left over for popcorn and a soda. One cup…with two straws, of course!

2.    Hit the Buffet
Buffets are not necessarily about how much food you can shovel in your mouth at one sitting, but about getting a good meal at a great price.  Find a cozy table for two in the corner and have a meal for two that costs less than it would for one at a fancy restaurant.

3.    A Walk in the Park
A change of scenery is good from time to time.  Visit the local park on a weekend afternoon to spend time together.  Watch the geese, take a ride in the paddle boats, or bring your bikes or hiking boots and explore a trail.

4.    Visit a Museum
Culture doesn’t have to come with a high price tag.  The local museum may have an art exhibit you have been longing to see.  Broaden your horizons as a couple and create new memories taking in a bit of history.

5.    Soak up Some Local Atmosphere
From big cities to small towns, there are always things going on around the community.  Sometimes you just have to look a bit harder.  Check out an outdoor concert with local bands or classical ensembles.  Many localities have community theater groups who put on productions of famous Broadway plays for as little as five or ten dollars per ticket.

6.    Night of Jazz Music
Find a nice downtown restaurant and listen to some good music.  Some restaurants may have outdoor seating allowing you to enjoy the night air while listening to the sounds wafting from the inside.

7. Movie Night at Home
We all like to turn down the lights and enjoy a good flick.  This type of date is perfect for parents of small children.  Once the little ones are tucked in bed and off in la-la land, set the scene.  Pop a large bag or two of popcorn and your favorite drinks and snuggle up on the couch or a blanket on the floor.  Take turns watching each other’s favorite type of movies.

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Show Your Wife You Love Her for Free

Women love to be loved.  The song says that diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but I say that her best friend is her husband.  For those men out there who want to show their wives how they feel, here are seven free ways that won’t cost you anywhere near the price of a diamond that doesn’t really show her how you feel anyway.

1. Make dinner for her.  There are plenty of women who work, chauffeur the children, and still make it home in time to prepare a hot dinner.  Take the responsibility off of her hands at least one night a week if you can.  This may take a bit of planning, but it will be well worth it, trust me.  Even if she gets home before you do, offer to take over and finish the meal.  As a treat, feed the kids first and save two plates for a romantic dinner after the kids are bathed and tucked in bed.
   
   
2. Run a hot bath.  Remember hot baths?  They are those warm, sudsy experiences we used to have time for before the kids came along.  When the kids are ready for a little play with dad or after they are in bed for the night, run a bath for your wife so that she gets a much deserved break from her day.  The waters will soak away the cares of the day and leave her ready to change from worker bee and mom to wife.  Add a cup of hot tea and the bath will be perfect.
   
   
3. Place notes in unexpected places.  Men are not adept at this, so it will come as a complete surprise.  Put a special love note in her underwear drawer or write it in the steam on the bathroom mirror.  There are a ton of places you can drop little notes of love and appreciation for your wife.
   
   
4. Call her throughout the day.  She won’t be expecting sweet nothings to be whispered in her ear during the day.  Tell her you love her and wanted to make sure she was alright.
   
   
5. Give her a back massage.  Picking up toys, cooking, driving, and the like take its toll on the back.  Playtime in the tub with the kids is a back breaker, too.  Use a warming massage gel to cut the pain as you soothe away the aches and pains with your manly touch.
   
   
6. Get involved in an activity that she likes.  Women like when men show genuine interest in them.  This includes their activities.  You don’t have to join a knitting circle or sewing group, but attend a meeting to show your support and love.  Ask her to explain what she does in her cooking class.  Cooking together can be fun and quite romantic when done at home.
   
   
7. Pick up after yourself.  I pick up socks and shoes on a daily basis.  I’ve usually tripped over the shoes first, though.  Women are wired to be caregivers.  Lighten her load by putting your own things away.  She can spend more time focusing on you when she doesn’t have to pick up after you.

Love doesn’t require a big production or lots of dough.  If you keep it simple, she’ll still get the message - you love and appreciate her very much.

Five Free Ways to Show Hubby Your Love

Husbands need love, too.  They work hard for their families and deserve to have a little appreciation.  As wives, we know all about the need for appreciation.  Here are some ways that you can show that love and affection to your significant other without spending a dime.

1. Tell him that you love him.  We don’t say it near enough to each other.  For most, the words are “understood.”  The flaw in that train of thinking is that the understanding can get confusing as time goes on and there is no communication.  Tell him when he leaves and when he returns home.  End your emails and calls with a special I Love You!  Even write a note for him only.
   
   
2. Send him off properly.  Have his work items next to the door so he won’t have to go searching for them.  If your husband is anything like mine, he makes a wide grid search for his keys every morning.  Help him out by having his briefcase, keys, and cell phone next to the door and ready to go.  You will be helping him get out of the house and on his way to work on time without the stress of forgetting something.
   
   
3. Fix him breakfast in bed.  This is something we see on television but many don’t even think to do.  They sell those breakfast trays for a few dollars in most home stores.  If you have kids to get ready in the morning, then do this on the weekend.  You can surprise him with a simple breakfast of cereal (cold or hot) and juice on one day during the week.  Rotate the schedule so that he doesn’t get used to your breakfast treats on any certain day.
   
   
4. Meet him at work for lunch.  If your man works close by and your schedule allows for it, have lunch together.  This requires a bit of forethought since most people’s work schedules don’t mesh without some finagling.  Fix a picnic lunch that can be eaten outside at a picnic table or on the grassy knoll.  Choosing a few of his favorites gives him something to look forward to besides your bright shining face.
   
   
5. How about a foot massage?  Feet have a hard time.  They take on the pressure of our entire bodies on a daily basis without any thanks.  Give his tired feet a well deserved rest with a foot rub.  Contrary to popular opinion, men like that spa-like attention.  For women who are squeamish about touching or handling feet, soak his feet in some warm water and foot scrub before beginning the massage.  You can do it before bed or while you talk about each other’s day.

Love doesn’t have to be expensive to have meaning.  Sometimes, the simplest things have the most lasting effects.  Trying even just one of these suggestions to sure to help your husband feel more appreciated and loved.  Who knows he might just start returning the favor .

Five Minute Romance Ideas

Our daily schedules are so jam packed with activities that we hardly have time for ourselves let alone our partner.  Romance often ends up on the back burner.  Here are some quick romantic ideas that anyone can do to keep in touch with their mate.

Sometimes we have trouble carving out fifteen minutes for any more activities, so five minute intervals will be right up your alley.  But, beware - these five minutes can be tantalizing enough to keep you tied up for many minutes more.  That being said, use caution when deciding on the time of your romantic overtures.

Start early in the morning.  Take a shower together.  At worst, you conserve water by turning it on only once that morning.  At best, well, I think you know where I’m going.  A shower together is a great way to say good morning.

Shave your man’s five o’clock shadow.  This takes a lot of trust and a steady hand.  Men like it when we take charge once in a while so give him the shave of his life.

After a hard day at work, we all have a bit of tension in our joints.  Sit your partner down and give them a neck massage.  Remember this is no ordinary neck massage though.  Be sure to take advantage of the entire five minutes. 

Start by unbuttoning a shirt or blouse for your love and easing it off of their shoulders.  Use a warm lotion or gel to work out the kinks in the muscles.  Try alternating deep muscle massage with gentler strokes to loosen them up.

In our homes, we often pass each other without a word.  Many couples live in the same house but act like nothing more than roommates, sometimes worse - strangers.  The next time you pass him or her in the hall, give them a big surprise.  Pin them against the wall and shower them with kisses for five minutes.  Hopefully, by the end of the five minutes they will join in the fun.

Aphrodisiacs are supposed to make us feel in a romantic mood.  Serve up a before bed snack of chocolate covered strawberries and other fruit.  Add a bit of bubbly for even more romance. 

These romantic ideas don’t take a lot of time, but the effects will last beyond the moment.  They add a bit of spontaneity which is missing in the busy lives of most couples.  Take back your romance five minutes at a time.

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Gifts to Make Him Feel Sexy

How we look is important to us.  If we feel good about ourselves then we see the world in a different light.  Men feel that way, also.  Help your hubby to look and feel sexy no matter where he is going.  Here are some gift ideas to keep him feeling his best.

1. Standing Valet - This little item will keep his suits freshly pressed from dry cleaner to wear.  The valet is useful in the office as well as at home.  He can stay looking neat and tidy all day long.
   
   
2. Skin Care System - If your man suffers from acne or hair bumps after shaving, there are products that can help.  Skin care systems like ProActiv provide cleansers, clarifiers, and toners that restore the natural balance to the skin.  They clear up acne for good.  Spas offer skin care products that can be used at home to give the same results as a professional facial.  His face will be as smooth as, well, you know.
   
   
3. Smoking Jacket - This is a fun gift.  He probably doesn’t smoke but the smoking jacket offers a classier way to relax from his day than the traditional robe.  Soft fabrics will pamper his skin as he props his feet up and settles back into his favorite chair.  If nothing else it will be a conversation piece or a private joke between the two of you.
   
   
4. Clothing to Fit the Man - Every well dressed man needs to have a decent wardrobe.  Give him the gift of a few custom made suits.  Take him to a tailor and have him measured.  Let him choose his suits but you pick up the tab.  A man in a good suit exudes sexiness.
   
   
5. Gym Membership for Two - Staying in shape is one way to have a long and healthy life.  Show him that you want him around for a long time to come with a membership to the local gym.  Some have couple’s memberships so that you can go together to work out.  It’s also sexy and healthy for you to be in shape as well.  Working out with a partner increases success and you two also get some couple time.
   
   

Don’t underestimate the power of looking good.  Your man will be the talk of the office or anywhere that he goes and it’s great for you because he belongs to you.  Talk about a win-win situation.

Seven Romantic Living Room Dates

Just because you are married doesn’t mean that you can’t go out on a date - with your spouse that is.  Dates keep the romance fresh and alive in a relationship.  Here are seven date ideas that don’t even require leaving home.

1. Have a Picnic on the Floor.  This is one place where the weather won’t change.  The conditions in your home are perfect for a picnic anytime.  Spread out the traditional gingham blanket and let the fun begin.  Turn off the television and turn on the environmental music sounds to achieve the full effect of the outdoor atmosphere.
   
   
2. What about a Movie Night?  We all like to turn down the lights and enjoy a good flick.  This type of date is perfect for parents of small children.  Once the little ones are tucked in bed and off in la-la land, set the scene.  Pop a large bag or two of popcorn and your favorite drinks and snuggle up on the couch or a blanket on the floor.  Take turns watching each other’s favorite type of movies.
   
   
3. Game Night.  What are your favorite games?  Mix it up a bit between board games, video games, and kid’s games.  Yes, I said kid’s games.  You and your husband can play hopscotch, Twister, or I Spy. Try a game of Scrabble–strip scrabble!   The night is about laughs and getting to know each other again, so have fun with it.
   
   
4. A Night of Karaoke Fun.  You may not sound like a professional songstress, but that shouldn’t stop you from having a good night of laughs singing your heart out.  Sing romantic songs together that you enjoyed when you were dating.  Go one step further and dress the part before the performance.  Take turns singing love songs to each other.
   
   
5. Spend a Winter in the Mountains.  If it’s cold outside, find warmth around a cozy fire.  In the absence of a fireplace, light some candles for a romantic mood.  Make a cozy pallet on the floor and serve hot cocoa with marshmallows.  Enjoy some wine, cheese, and fresh fruit together to help you keep warm.
   
   
6. What about a Spa Night?  Dress up in terry cloth robes and fuzzy slippers.  Give each other manicures and pedicures.  Men aren’t too practiced in this area so your handiwork may look better than his, but it is the thought that counts.  Finish up with massages.
   
   
7.  Night at the Strip Club.  For a bit more seductive living room date, take it all off - literally.  Leading up to the date, pick out your outfits and practice your “routine.”  Don’t take it too seriously though.  Have some fun with it and each other.

You don’t have to leave your home to have an interesting date.  Turn your living room into any locale you can imagine to make it fun and out of the ordinary. 

Gifts for His Office

Some of us are married to businessmen.  They spend a lot of time at the office making deals and earning promotions.  Keep him in style at the office with a few gift ideas.  He’ll be the most put together chap in the office and yummy to your eyes as well.

1. Talking picture frame.  Remind him of how you feel each day he is at the office.  A talking picture frame can record a sexy message for his ears only that he can listen to while gazing at your photograph.  It can also be an uplifting message of love to keep him encouraged when things get rough.
   
   
2. Personalized name plate for his desk.  Has he just gotten a promotion?  Celebrate his good fortune with a custom made name plate complete with the title of his new position to be handsomely displayed on his desk.
   
   
3. Paintings and other artwork.  For some businessmen, the office is a second home.  He should have something worthwhile to gaze at.  Paintings replace the cold and impersonal feel with a more relaxing atmosphere for clients as well as your man.
   
   
4. Business card case.  Everyone will be talking about his gold case when he pulls it out to flash a business card.  Companies will spring for the basic business cards, but you can provide a more elaborate one along with the case.  He’ll appreciate you helping him to put his best foot forward.
   
   
5. Briefcase.  One can never have too many briefcases.  The traditional type of case has been replaced with more fashionable styles.  If he carries a laptop computer, find a briefcase that doubles as a computer case and a place to store his important documents.
   
   
6. Watch/timepiece.  Being on time is important for a businessman.  He may need to know the time in this time zone and others as well.  Give him a watch that is as keen as his mind.  Brands like Seiko, TAG Heuer, Fossil, and Movado make excellent timepieces for the wrist.
   
   
7. Paperweights.  The good old paperweight never goes out of style for those who work at a desk all day.  Especially if you have kids, he’ll love a paperweight they make themselves.  You can find cute paperweights at the dollar store or you can make your own with a little thought, creativity and a lot of love.  
   
   

If he must spend time at the office, he should have the best that you can give him.  Show how proud you are of his place in the business world with a gift that expresses your love and respect for him.

Valentine Day Traditions

Traditions are special things that we do each and every year that are unique to our family.  Traditions that we learn in childhood can be passed on to our own children when we become adults.  What are your Valentine’s Day traditions?  If you don’t have any, this year is the perfect time to start.

Take a family portrait.  Remember each Valentine’s Day with a picture to commemorate the moment.  Choose to wear clothes that reflect the day.  Everyone’s outfit can include red, white, and pink in some fashion.  Each year you will see how the family grows and changes from the year before.  Also each year, family members can take turns finding the perfect picture frame to hold the photo.

What about a story?  Valentine’s Day is named after St. Valentine.  No one knows for sure if he was real or a work of fiction, but it is fun to tell the variations of the story to lend meaning to the day.  Whether real or imagined, St. Valentine championed the cause of love.  The story of Cupid comes from Roman mythology as he was the son of Aphrodite who was the goddess of love.

Give your kids something that is real - the story of your love.  Parents can retell the story of how they met and fell in love.  There is nothing more intriguing than a story of true love.  Other family members can share their stories of love as well.  This is a way of passing stories down through the generations - an ancient practice that started before there were written records.

Watch a touching movie.  The movies don’t have to be sappy chick flicks.  Once the kids become teenagers, especially the boys, they will want out of this tradition, especially if the movies are too mushy.  The movie can have aspects of love whether it is friendship, family bonds, or the boy-girl kind of love.  Stories of love give kids a strong sense of its meaning so that they are prepared to show and receive love from others as they grow up.

Play a game that tells what each person in the family loves about each of the other family members?  Each person will get a chance to write down on a piece of paper what they love about one another.  Anonymously, every family member writes their thoughts on a separate slip for mom, dad, brother, sister, and so on.    

The papers are put in a basket or a small box that is owned by each person.  Family members take turns reading aloud what has been written about them.  It’ll feel good to know that you are loved and respected by your family.

Valentine’s Day traditions help us teach our kids about love.  We grow closer as a family and learn to depend on each other no matter what when we create Valentine’s Day traditions such as the ones mentioned here.